Somewhere In Between
by AskItOfMe
Summary: Draco lives in reality, but apparently no one else does. Everyone is oblivious to the life he leads. It's not that he doesn't want to tell anyone about it, he'd just rather not. But will his secret life get in the way of a possible romance? [SLASH]
1. Prologue

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No one knows what it's like. What it's like to be me. My name? Malfoy, Draco Malfoy. I can hear your snide remarks now, and I don't know if I should laugh or if I should be sick. And somehow, I always end up somewhere in the middle. Laughing at it all, even as I lie retching on the floor. The best episodes of all are the ones with the bloody smears and the cackling. Cackling as cold and heartless as an iceberg in the Arctic Ocean. And no one can ever melt that iceberg, no one.   
  
Right now, is one of those moments. I sit here with my back against the wall and my knees up to my chest as I cackle loudly. I slowly lick my lips as I drag the smooth edge of the razor blade against the bottom of my lip. Sideways, always sideways. I can't bring myself to slice my wrists any other way. I'm too big of a coward to face life and live it and to much of a chicken shit to end it all. As I apply pressure to the blade, my skin slowly parts and red droplets spring to the surface of my skin. Slowly they all converge and the further along I drag the blade, the deeper and longer the river flows. A river with crimson red tides.  
  
And for those brief few moments, I can feel again. I can feel everything, and I don't really care that tears are falling down my face. Because I'm feeling again. I can feel the hurt and the pain, the joy and laughter, the hate and malice, and the violence. I moan softly as I feel them all inside of me. This, this thing that I do. It's so much better than anything else I've ever done to feel. Sure the drugs and alcohol helped, but the sensations were never heightened like this. Never this toxic, never this addictive. But I don't care anymore. Because I can feel again... I can feel...  
  
After a while, the bleeding stops and so does the feeling. And once again, I'm numb and cold inside. I slowly stand up and reach into my robe, replacing my wand with the blade. I pull my wand out and quickly do a healing spell. Now it merely looks as though I was scratched by a thorn, or a scalpel in potions class. I don't think I'd care if they all knew about this. No, I doubt I would. No one matters to me. No one but him...  
  
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	2. Chapter 1

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There he goes, the object of my desire. The one thing that not even my name or money can give me. Harry James Potter. He's not the same Harry I met 7 years ago. He's not the same Gryffindor, that people came to love. He's not the same Seeker who always played fairly. He's not just "The Boy Who Lived" anymore. No, he's so much more now. He not only lived, he finally killed Voldemort. When did that happen you ask? Spring Holidays of last year.   
  
As the story goes, Voldemort was finally able to break into Hogwarts. Almost all of which was deserted, but Harry stayed here over the Holidays like always. Voldemort was trying to gain access into Dumbledore's office when he became extremely upset and Harry woke up instantly with his scar sizzling. He then ran down stairs to Dumbledore's office to find the doors open. Not torn down, but open. Harry hesitantly walked into the office and instead of hearing fighting, he heard two people conversing. What he overheard, was nothing that anyone had ever suspected.   
  
"So how'd you finally do it?" Dumbledore asked.   
  
"I remembered something that you once said- 'We may mock the muggles for their inability to perform magick. But we are underestimating their power over us. We charm our houses and our schools and places of business and we never think of what happens after we leave. Magick only knows magick when there's no one to attend to it. Therefore muggles actually have the upper hand because they have no magick and are therefore immune to our unattended magick.' I simply stripped myself of all my powers, put them in the Sphere of Daedalus, entered the castle and then broke the sphere." Voldemort said calmly as he explained this to the headmaster.  
  
"Well it took you long enough." Dumbledore said stroking his beard thoughtfully.  
  
"I'm only one person, seeing as how my Death Eaters are never any help." The Dark Lord said simply.  
  
"Yes, I know. Some of them have gone rather soft too haven't they?" Dumbledore asked and Voldemort nodded his agreement. "When do you plan to kill Potter?" Dumbledore asked.   
  
"As soon as we finish here, I was never a procrastinator." Voldemort said smiling.   
  
"Yes, I know." Dumbledore said. "Are you certain you'll be able to kill him this time? You've already attempted it seven times. What makes this time different?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"You know, I'm not really sure. This time just feels different." Voldemort said solemnly.   
  
"Good, because I want him gone before everyone returns from the Holidays. I've waited 17 years for the Potter line to be destroyed, woulda done it myself if I didn't fancy my job so much." Dumbledore said and he stood up suddenly when Harry accidentally knocked over an astrolabe on a table by the door. Dumbledore's face went white with rage as Voldemort slowly turned around in his seat to view the intruder.   
  
"Well if it isn't the man of the hour himself." Voldemort said.   
  
"Go to hell." Harry said between clenched teeth.  
  
"Been there, done that, Lucifer kicked me out for trying to take over." Voldemort said calmly.   
  
"Don't just sit there Tom, kill him!" Dumbledore shouted and Harry jumped, he just realized that he didn't have his wand.  
  
"It's not like he's going anywhere." Voldemort said as he finally stood up. His black robe swaying around his feet. He pulled out his wand. "Deicio!" He said calmly but firmly and a dark green light poured out of the tip of his wand and headed straight for Harry. Harry ducked and the bookshelf behind him shattered into a million pieces.   
  
"Interficio! Interficio! Interficio!" Harry heard a soft but familiar female's voice say inside his head.   
  
"Interficio!" Harry yelled and suddenly Voldemort keeled over screaming in pain and then a blood red light shone through him as he was stood back up by the force of the light. The light was shining out of his eyes, nose, ears, and mouth as it broke it's way through his skin and the Dark Lord melted into the light and then the light evaporated. Harry couldn't believe that one little word had finally killed Voldemort. Harry suddenly turned on Dumbledore. "Why?" Harry asked, and Dumbledore didn't have to ask what he was talking about.   
  
"Because the Potter's had everything I never did, and everything I ever wanted. They were too good to be true, and I detested them. That's why." Dumbledore said coldly.   
  
"I could say the same about you." Harry said simply as he turned around to walk out of the office.   
  
"Eneco!" Dumbledore shouted at Harry but he never got to finish the curse.   
  
"Interficio!" Harry said dryly as he shut the doors to the office, he didn't need to see Dumbledore to know what was happening to him.   
  
The next day Harry called Merléa Tifton, the newest Minister of Magic, and told her the story and said that it'd be best if they just sent in a new headmaster so that the transition would be as smooth as possible for everyone. Merléa agreed and two days later, Khalihandra Chatham showed up on Hogwarts' doorstep. She's been the headmistress ever since. Needless to say, the magical community was shocked by Albus Dumbledore's false allegiance. But time goes on, and new gossip arises, and people move on.   
  
"Look at him." I whisper to myself before I hurry to the dungeons for my favorite class. Advanced Potions, and who do you think is my lab partner?   
  
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	3. Chapter 2

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As soon as I stepped into the potions lab my mood fell. My beloved Potions Master was nowhere to be seen. Instead, the headmistress decided to grace us with her presence today. If I were straight, I would have already tried to get with her. There's not a guy in the castle who hasn't at least thought about it. After being around mostly defined older women, she was a very cool breath of fresh air. Her hair was raven black with silver and emerald green streaks (yes, she was a Slytherin when she went to school). Her eyes were clear blue, almost too blue. But somehow, it fit her. She was about 5'6", and if I had to guess she probably didn't weigh more than 135lbs. Her figure was very curvy to say the least. And today, she wore a vivid orange and red dress robe with a yellow shawl draped around her neck, and as always she had on tons of jewelry.   
  
"Good morning Mr. Malfoy." She greeted me cheerfully.  
  
"Morning Ms. Chatham." I greeted back. If I had to be stuck with another teacher besides Snape for most of the morning, I'm glad it's her. I could have gotten stuck with Professor Langford. I started to say something but she cut me off.  
  
"Professor Snape had some important personal business to attend to, that's why he won't be teaching today." She explained.   
  
"How did you-?" I started asking and yet again she cut me off.  
  
"I read your mind." She said simply as she shrugged her shoulders.  
  
"Ok." I said a little confused as the rest of my classmates finally started filing into the room. I took my seat and tried not to look antsy as Harry sat down beside me.   
  
"Good morning class." Ms. Chatham greeted cheerfully.  
  
"Morning Ms. Chatham." The class echoed. The guys all had smiles plastered on their faces. The girls did to, but most of them not for the same reason as the guys. The girls looked up to Ms. Chatham, and they all wanted to be like her.  
  
"Today class, we're going to practice something that's fun." She said as her smile widened. "Just until recently it was outlawed for reasons that, well, they simply don't matter. This isn't History of Magic now is it?" She asked laughing lightly and he class shook their heads no. "Well, now that that's out of the way. We're going to be studying telepathy today." She said as her grin grew, if that was even possible at the moment.   
  
"Mind reading." I said numbly.  
  
"Very good Mr. Malfoy." Ms. Chatham said as she came to stand in front of my lab table. I knew my face was crimson.  
  
"I didn't-" I started saying.  
  
"Think that anyone could hear you. Yes, I know." She said as she again completed my thoughts. "I didn't hear you, Mr. Malfoy. I read your mind, again. See, isn't this fun?" She asked grinning.  
  
"Bundles and bundles of joy." I said sarcastically as I forced a smile. She frowned a little at that, probably because she read my mind and knew that I wasn't enjoying this. "Can't you like go read somebody else's mind?" I asked as nicely as I could.  
  
"I suppose so. Or I could teach you all how to do it. For the next few minutes I want you to repeat the following incantation." She said as she waved her hand at the black board and the words, "Jeg søker andre sikt. Gi meg innsikt. Innsikt. Innsikt. Innsikt." appeared on the smooth black surface. "But don't start yet. First, I'm going to come around to each lab table and cast a spell of my own. I'm casting another spell because when you ask for insight," She said motioning towards the board again. "You can't be specific. You have to practice your skill in order to master it. So when you first begin, your mind is automatically going to be hit with any kind of brainwaves that you're near. And that can cause insanity and not to mention major headaches. Therefore I'm casting a spell that will allow you to only experience your partner's thoughts." She finished saying as she looked back at mine and Harry's table. "I guess you two are first." She grinned happily. "Pensé la dissimulation." She said tapping her silver wand against the edge of our table and suddenly it was like we were put inside a sound proof room. I could no longer hear anything outside of mine and Harry's table, and yet there was nothing around us that hadn't been there before.  
  
"Jeg søker andre sikt. Gi meg innsikt. Innsikt. Innsikt. Innsikt." I heard Harry start saying over and over again. I shrugged my shoulders.  
  
"What the hell." I said before I started repeating the incantation softly. "Jeg søker andre sikt. Gi meg innsikt. Innsikt. Innsikt. Innsikt." After a few minutes I could feel outside thoughts start penetrating their way inside my head.   
  
"Come on Drac, let me see your deepest thoughts." I could hear Harry's voice inside my head as various images from his life at the Dursley's flashed through my head.  
  
"Why should I?" I answered back with my mind. I wondered what thoughts were flashing through his mind right now.   
  
"If you show me yours, I'll show you mine." I hear his voice taunt me. I wanted to melt right there. Ok so maybe not melt, but I definitely wanted to pounce on him and fuck his brains out. I shook my head to clear that train of thought. As I suddenly wondered if that was the set of flashes that were racing through his mind. I couldn't tell. I kept getting more and more images, they flashed by like a bolt of lighting and yet I knew every detail in all of them.   
  
"Truthfully?" I asked not certain I wanted him to know my secret.   
  
"I promise on Sirius's grave." He said and I could sense the sadness in his voice at mentioning him. "What about you? Will you truthfully show me yours?" He asked as an after thought.  
  
"I promise on this month's issue of Cosmo." I said simply, he laughed.  
  
"Ok, ok." He said and I could sense him let his defenses down and all of a sudden I was filled with a different set of images. There was one of me walking down the hall with Blaise and he and I were holding hands. I remember that, it was when he and I first started going out. Then the next image was one of Harry fucking Neville. Then the next image was another one of me and Blaise. This time we were making out near the pond. Then the next image was one of Harry fucking Crabbe. Then another image of me, but this time I was with walking around the grounds with Pansy. This was followed by images of Harry sleeping with Hermione. And they were all like that. Images of me with someone, followed by images of Harry with someone different each time. He had fucked almost all the 5, 6, and 7th years. I couldn't believe it. I looked over at him as the images just kept coming and I was surprised to see a single tear rolling down his cheek as he kept rubbing his left wrist, where I did most of my cutting. I didn't want this, I was no longer liking this. "Fin!" I screamed and Harry's thoughts slowed down in my mind as sounds from the room reached my ears and I realized that Harry and I were the only ones left. Ms. Chatham looked at me with an unreadable expression. I couldn't bring myself to look back at Harry as I grabbed my bag and stormed out of the class. Back towards the dungeons, where I could be alone to do whatever I wished.  
  
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End file.
